We asked sexperts and a porn star for tips on how to make her reach the ultimate heights of female pleasure.
Female ejaculation, a.k.a. squirting, is the highest form of compliment in the bedroom: if you’ve made a woman squirt, you know that you’re doing something right. But even though the art of female ejaculation has been studied for more than 2,000 years, according to Beverly Whipple, PhD, a certified sex therapist and a professor at Rutgers University, most researchers are still mystified by it.
According to Dr. Whipple’s research, female ejaculation is definitely a thing. “Female ejaculation comes from the female prostate gland [or Skene’s gland, located on the anterior wall of the vagina] and is about 3 to 5 cc’s of a fluid that looks like watered-down fat-free milk,” she says.
Yet she wants to be clear that female ejaculation and what we think of as “squirting” — a.k.a. the gushing of fluid that you’ve probably seen in porn — are two totally different things. Unlike female ejaculate, which is a small amount of milky white fluid that comes from the female prostate gland, lab studies have determined that squirting is basically the result of women with weak pelvic muscles peeing a little bit during orgasm. “Squirting is diluted urine with a small amount of the components of female ejaculation,” says Whipple.” Female ejaculation is actually much harder to achieve: only an estimated 10 percent of women can do it, according to recent studies.
Regardless of whether squirting is prostate fluid or pee or a little bit of both, one thing is for certain: If you’re making her unusually wet, she’s probably having a good time. But how do you get her to this lofty pedestal of pleasure? We spoke to a few experts, including porn star Layton Benton (who’s well known for her squirting prowess), for some tips and tricks on how to get the job done.
1.KEEP HER HYDRATED.
It’s generally a good idea to drink a lot of water if you plan on having a lot o’ sex, but that’s doubly true if squirting is on the agenda. “What I find is that squirting is based on how hydrated you are,” says Benton. “If you want your partner to squirt, make sure she drinks tons of water that day with lots of electrolytes.”
2.FIND HER G-SPOT.
It’s crucial to find the G-spot, or the walnut-sized tissue two inches inside of the vagina on the top of the vaginal wall. “Most people who can and do produce ejaculate will say that G-spot stimulation will result in such a climax,” says Eric Marlowe Garrison, a clinical sexologist and author of Mastering Multiple Position Sex. “This produces an orgasm that is more like a bottle rocket than a Roman candle.”
For Benton, the two best sex positions for G-spot stimulation are missionary and cowgirl. “When I squirted, it was because my partner was hitting the G-spot over and over again,” she says. “You can make your partner squirt if she’s riding you and you’re pounding the G-spot, or during missionary.”
Still having trouble finding it? Dr. Whipple recommends having your partner lie on her back. Then insert two fingers inside her vagina and make a “come hither” motion to stimulate her G-spot.
3.DON’T BE AFRAID TO USE SEX TOYS.
There are tons of sex toys specifically designed for G-spot stimulation and female ejaculation.
For Benton, female ejaculation has everything to do with making an emotional connection during sex. “For me, ejaculating is a stepping stone to a deeper connection. It’s not something that every man can make me do. I feel more a sense of closeness to my partner, like, wow, this sex is different,” she says. “I’ve never ejaculated where it wasn’t passionate. It was all intense, amazing sex each time.”
Benton says missionary is one of the best positions for achieving that level of intimacy and connection. “Yes, you can hit the G-spot during missionary, but there is so much more to it than that,” she says. “Kiss my neck, suck my nipples, look into my eyes. Talk dirty to me.”
5.MAKE IT MEMORABLE
If a woman is able to achieve ejaculation, she isn’t going to do so at the drop of a hat. That’s why you need to go above and beyond, both with foreplay and during sex. “Having sex is an art and a craft and I feel like if you’re going to have sex with someone, make it memorable,” she says. “Give it your all. Don’t half-ass it.”