Have you really moved on?
Emotional baggage. All of us have experienced having to carry emotional baggage at one point or another in our lives. It’s normal for people to have emotional baggage especially if one has undergone a significantly traumatic emotional experience. There is just no understating how profound of an emotional impact a breakup can have on a person. This is especially true when a breakup manages to blindside someone. It can be difficult to let go and move on from something that you never saw coming – something that you never could have possibly prepared for.
Relationships are difficult – and breakups are too. There are just so many feelings that have to be managed and processed. And sometimes, it can get particularly overwhelming especially for those who aren’t so experienced in the handling of these feelings. However, no matter how difficult it might be to manage emotional baggage, it’s very important for one to let these bitter feelings go before they venture into new relationships.
You can’t possibly expect to find success in new romances and relationships if you are still harboring some heavy emotions from a previous relationship. You have to make sure that you’ve moved on from a breakup before you can actually start falling in love with someone again. Unfortunately for some, they don’t even realize that they haven’t even moved on from a breakup – and that’s why they can’t figure out why they can’t make new relationships work.
And don’t be so complacent. You might be one of those people. You might be someone who doesn’t really process heavy feelings and emotions well, and as a result, you end up neglecting them without even knowing it. So read this list to find out if you’re one of those people. If a lot of the items that are listed on here strike a chord within you, then it’s highly likely that you haven’t moved on from a breakup yet and that’s why you can’t seem to find success in your new relationships.
1. You still hope that they might eventually change their mind.
At the back of your mind, you still cling to the hope that your ex will eventually come knocking on your door again. This is especially damning evidence if you know that you would welcome them back into your life with open arms.
2. You still stalk them on social media.
You are constantly keeping tabs on your ex. You can’t get over the fact that they’re no longer in your life and you still want to feel like you’re included in theirs somehow. You want to make believe that you still play a role in their life and that’s why you resort to stalking them.
3. You find yourself questioning your own attractiveness and self-worth.
You have severe bouts with self-image and confidence issues. You think that the reason things didn’t work out is because you weren’t enough. And so as a result, you never think that you could ever be enough for anyone at all.
4. You still constantly find yourself thinking about the good memories.
You can’t shake all of the “good times” that you used to share together as a couple. You think that those times were the best moments of your life and you are constantly looking to get back to that place even when it’s long gone.
5. You measure the new people you date up against them.
Whenever you go into a date with someone new, you still use your ex as some kind of rubric. Instead of judging a person as they are, you judge them according to what your ex was to you. And that’s a bad approach to have going into new relationships. You have to be able to judge people on their own merits.
6. You still feel so guilty about the relationship ending.
You assume all of the blame and responsibility. You still blame yourself for losing the opportunity to be with your ex and you just can’t seem to get over it.
7. You find yourself on an endless string of unfulfilling flings and hookups.
You find yourself hooking up with people in an effort to fill that void that was once occupied by your ex. However, nothing ever seems to do the trick. The reason this is so is because you have to rid yourself of the idea that your ex takes ownership of that place in your heart.
8. You keep thinking about the things that you could have done better.
You kill yourself over thinking about the things that you could have possibly done better. It’s an unhealthy way to live because you are constantly thinking about the “could have been” moments instead of the “what could be” opportunities that you still have.
9. You try to change the people you date into your ex.
You still want to be with your ex so bad that you try to change the people you date to fit the mold of your ex. You try to change them into who you were once with instead of just learning to fall in love with who they really are.
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Source: Relationship rules